Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
