I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
