Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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