Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
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