It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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