her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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