Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
