Quick, to the slutcave!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
