I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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