is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
