No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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