i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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