ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
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