Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize