O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
