Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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