Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
there was a trapeze. enough said
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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