adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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