1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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