There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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