And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
