We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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