May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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