I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
