i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
