I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
