It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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