yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
