47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
