U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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