the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
