we're chasing vodka with high fives
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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