Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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