drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
