Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
