'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize