so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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