return my video game
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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