My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I need to stop coming to work sober
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
