just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
