so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
