brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
