My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
