i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
