my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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