He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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