Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
