The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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