i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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