why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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