before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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