I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
