Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
