he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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