Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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