C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
