then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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