I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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