there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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