dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize