call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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