K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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