Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
