I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He has the fingertips of a God
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize