He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Someone signed my nipple.
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