And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
