if you like me you must not know who I am
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
