how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drunk is not a location!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize