why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
