well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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