the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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