Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Send help, water and tortillas.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
