i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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