two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
